


Pain Free

by commas_and_ampersands



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-08-30 01:30:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16755271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/commas_and_ampersands/pseuds/commas_and_ampersands
Summary: “Nothing can hurt me now,” Haruka proclaims to the world at large.  The fact that the world at large in fact consists solely of Minako sitting her in hospital room is irrelevant.





	Pain Free

**Author's Note:**

> This story was written for docholligay, who originally came up with Minako referring to Michiru as "the sea witch." It's so perfect that I kind of consider it canon now.

“Nothing can hurt me now,” Haruka proclaims to the world at large.  The fact that the world at large in fact consists solely of Minako sitting her in hospital room is irrelevant.

“I’m pretty sure that’s the morphine talking, buddy.  Remember?  You have a compound leg fracture?  And it was very gross and the fact that I am still your friend after seeing that means I deserve a medal?  Or at least candy?  Or possibly some of that morphine?”

“No,” Haruka says, imbuing her voice with grim portent, like rumbling thunder and prophecy, doom and awe incarnate.  “I am beyond pain.”

Minako looks up from her magazine, a three month-old issue with Seiya on the cover that Haruka suspects she brought from home just to torment her with.  “What the fuck is up with your voice?  Do you need to cough?  Are you phlegmy?”

“I am being Significant.”

“A significant pain in my fabulous ass.”

Haruka sighs the sigh of the woefully misunderstood and underappreciated.  “You wouldn’t understand.”

“That you deep throated your wife’s strap-on last night and now your throat hurts?  Dude, we’ve all been there.”

“Mina!”

Minako rolls her eyes.  “Not Michiru’s,  _obviously_.  You know I wouldn’t touch your squid-wife or her strap-on.  Plenty of other dildos in the sea.”

“My wife is not the sea witch.”

“I didn’t say she was the sea witch.  I said she was a squid.  Would you rather I call her a sea witch?”

Haruka winces.  “Please don’t.”

“And here I thought you were  _beyond pain_.”


End file.
